CyberpunkCafe

Wow my head is all over the place at the minute what with everything I have going on. I noticed I usually like to take my time over things - but its because otherwise my brain tends to implode at the idea of doing too much at once as much as it is me lengthening my own enjoyment of doing a task well.

I’m definately wired for bursts of intense concentration on a single subject rather than doing lots of things at once. Which is ridiculous as I have a tendancy toward giving myself ludicrous amounts to do at any time. Maybe I need to sit back and figure out the few important things and concentrate on those instead of rushing about like a mad thing.

Anyway what’s new? I moved into my new place (that’s move number 4 since last summer, for those of you who like stats). It’s a nice tidy shared house with other people who are all working; 1 greek guy, 1 norwegian chap and and a girl I’ve yet to meet. Still not shifted all my gear from my last place either so my room consists of basically: a bed, a desk, a chair and a computer.

Oh and my acoustic guitar. I felt really bad as I’ve completely ignored her since I got Jemima (my golden fender strat). In fact I just realised I still haven’t given her a name yet. I’m digressing, I was going to state how much my playing has improved since I moved into this place - I didn’t have my computer for about a week so I had nothing much else to do whilst in my room but play guitar, sleep or read.

Since then I been practising daily for a good couple of hours on average which has helped me develop a good strumming rhythm as well as enjoying the sound of an acoustic once more. So Jemima has competition, although I am getting severe withdrawal symptoms and I really can’t wait till she gets delivered so I can devote the best part of a day to wailing out and trying out some new techniques.

Meanwhile back to editing for me today. I went shooting on Saturday and for the first time in a long time i was really impressed by the results, mainly because we are getting used to our normal high standards, but the footage from Saturdays vox pops was really lifting it up a notch, kudos has to go to Robin’s shot composition, it’s really coming along nicely now. The great weather helped too

Anyway back to multi-tasking like a mad one.

I was at a gig at the Frog on the Front last night to see my buddie playing in his awesome experimental rock band, Zelega. Think Mogwai/God Speed you Black Emperor etc. Anyway they ruled the school and the neighbouring residences.

Other bands I heard in my ears were Red Campion as well as a couple of singers who I am ashamed to admit I have already forgotten the names of… (I was too busy chatting to Dave, who I have not seen for about 7 months, and co). Lets call them like Kim and Karen because I think they had names that began with a ‘K’ but they were down as miscellaneous on the bill so I can’t really take all the blame…

I think I want to keep the tabloid newspaper headline theme going as well. Although I know I will probably forget as soon as I hit the button to publish…

Another restless night,
waking up in haze,
Two months now,
since we went our own ways,
maybe more for her…

I can’t go another hour,
with her in my head,
twisting up my days.
I wish I were dead.
No, not really.

I can’t make it happen.
This thing I desire,
All I ever wanted,
turns to ash in the fire,
burns me too.

So what now?
Move on, forget her.
Easier said than done.
Chin up, bite down,
Keep it together,
I guess it wasn’t meant to be forever.

You know its bad when you start making up songs about it, still I kinda like that one - I think the next set of verses should be more positive. Maybe I can add to it later when I can actually relate to that.

In other news the new Belle and Sebastian album sounds great. The Life Pursuit is out February 6th 2006 on Rough Trade Records.

On Saturday I was an angel shining fair
You shone louder, longer
You put my shine to shame
Put me to shame now
Put me to shame

What is it I must do to pay for all my crimes?
What is it I must do?
I would do it all the time

I know cause I’ve seen it
It was grey and I want it
Theres no point in sitting
Going crazy on my own
Do you know what
I was put here in the world for
Could you tell me
In three words or more
It’s the only way of getting out of here
It’s the only way of getting out of here

Take a lesson
From the ones who have been there
My brain is not damaged
But in need of some repair
Hold on to the basics
But we can’t change all our tactics
Don’t just sit there
Going crazy on your own

It’s the only way of getting out of here
It’s the only way of getting out of here

This is the modern way
Faking it everyday
Taking it as they come
We’re not the only ones
Is that what we used to say
That this is the modern way?

I know where I’m going
I know we are in the knowing
I will stop at nothing
Just to get what I want

It’s the only way of getting out of here
It’s the only way of getting out of here

This is the modern way
Faking it everyday
Taking it as they come
We’re not the only ones
Is that what we used to say
That this is the modern way?

That this is the modern way
Faking it everyday
Taking them as they come
We’re not the only ones
Is that what we used to say
That this is the modern way?

I got the Kaiser Chief’s new album “Employment” and Maximo Park’s “A Certain Trigger” - mainly as listening to them in HMV had the effect of making me want to listen to them at home - it probably wont last.

In other news I also decided to have a clear out of all my ex’s stuff. I deleted her number from my mobile phone, her emails fromOutlook and blocked and removed her from my MSN buddy list. I’m going to systematically go through all my stuff and anything that reminds me of her is getting chucked out. The difficult part is that after spending the last 3 years living together nearly everything reminds me of her and I can’t afford to ditch everything - but hopefully if I can get rid of enough of it I will stop thinking about her so much.

I also decided to write a list of things I didn’t like about her - I’m already at number 41. Admittedly a lot of them are pretty much the same things written down differently, but its reputedly theraputic to go through this sort of routine. The sleepless nights have got to end regardless, as it just makes me tired at work. So if writing and talking about breaking up makes it easier I might as well do it here. I’m down to pretty much only thinking about her when I get home at night and I never really thought about it but I can see why so many cliched songs get written about the subject. It’s definately good fuel for writing - who knows maybe I will pick up a pen and start writing another script. Or add to my old ones, might as well make something positive out of it.

The other thought that is slowly emerging is emigration - I heard a lot about how great a place to live Canada is, and since I’m beginning to associate this little island with everything that is wrong with my life I might even look into it a little more seriously. I could save up some money and start a new life over there, maybe do a masters in filmmaking and try and get a production company up and running while I’m over there.

Its a thought anyway.

Made some more wallpaper to reflect what is going through my ears at the moment: Belle and Sebsatian “If you’re Feeling Sinister”