Everyday I love you less and less, you’re turning into something I detest…
I got the Kaiser Chief’s new album “Employment” and Maximo Park’s “A Certain Trigger” - mainly as listening to them in HMV had the effect of making me want to listen to them at home - it probably wont last.
In other news I also decided to have a clear out of all my ex’s stuff. I deleted her number from my mobile phone, her emails fromOutlook and blocked and removed her from my MSN buddy list. I’m going to systematically go through all my stuff and anything that reminds me of her is getting chucked out. The difficult part is that after spending the last 3 years living together nearly everything reminds me of her and I can’t afford to ditch everything - but hopefully if I can get rid of enough of it I will stop thinking about her so much.
I also decided to write a list of things I didn’t like about her - I’m already at number 41. Admittedly a lot of them are pretty much the same things written down differently, but its reputedly theraputic to go through this sort of routine. The sleepless nights have got to end regardless, as it just makes me tired at work. So if writing and talking about breaking up makes it easier I might as well do it here. I’m down to pretty much only thinking about her when I get home at night and I never really thought about it but I can see why so many cliched songs get written about the subject. It’s definately good fuel for writing - who knows maybe I will pick up a pen and start writing another script. Or add to my old ones, might as well make something positive out of it.
The other thought that is slowly emerging is emigration - I heard a lot about how great a place to live Canada is, and since I’m beginning to associate this little island with everything that is wrong with my life I might even look into it a little more seriously. I could save up some money and start a new life over there, maybe do a masters in filmmaking and try and get a production company up and running while I’m over there.
Its a thought anyway.